Member-only story
Giving up.
Giving up on trying.
I’m mentally done.
C is nonverbal level 3 Autistic. He is violent. He is 9 years old. When he is in a rage fit, he beats on me. I get headbutted, kicked, punched, and he goes for pressure points. He destroyed anything that he can. He has broken windows, holes in walls, ripped doors off of cabinets, and has broken a stove.
I am broken. Mentally, I just hate everything and my life. Psychically I’m bruised up. I can’t keep myself out of this hole. I don’t want to do this anymore. I give up.
I give up on trying to have anything in the house. He ends up breaking most things, so why bother trying to have anything at all. Laundry baskets, cabinets, he’s broken a toilet, microwave stands, rugs, couches, recliners, everything. He’s ruined flooring, walls, windows. What’s the point of trying to have a decent house when he ruins it.
I give up on trying to protect myself from being his punching bag. I always end up looking like a woman in a DV situation. He hasn’t broken anything on me, yet but it’s only a matter of time. He knows where to hit you to make it hurt. He knows where the pressure points are and goes after them as well. Why should I bother trying to protect myself when I fail. I give up.
